AI phone receptionist for drains and septic
Quick summary
- You are on a rod in a ground-floor toilet. Both hands are wet. That is when the published number rings about a second backup.
- The first split is toilet backing up, smell in the yard, or septic due a pump — those are three vans, not one free hour.
- A smell is a note. The assistant does not name a cause from the odour. Camera and pump are different bookings.
- A family with sewage at the bowl will not wait on voicemail. They ring the next tanker.
- It checks the book you already use before it offers a window, writes the visit in, and texts the address.
- Sunday lunch, and Saturday after a wedding, several people ring at once. It answers every line at once.
TL;DR
You are on a rod in a ground-floor toilet in a Greek block. Water is at the bowl. The phone in your pocket rings. Someone else has a toilet backing up, or the yard smells, or they think the septic is full. They will not leave a message. They will ring the next tanker on the listing. An assistant answers in the caller's language, asks whether this is a backup, a smell, or a scheduled pump, takes the address and whether the house is on a septic or the sewer, and books a visit only if that window is free. It never names a cause from a smell. It never quotes a jet from a photo of a bowl. Camera and pump stay two jobs. The diagnosis, if any, is yours, with the camera in the pipe.
Key takeaways
- Put the assistant on the number on the tanker and the van door, with a forward-on-no-answer rule, so a free pair of hands still takes the call.
- Teach it the first split: toilet backing up, smell in the yard, or septic due a pump — then camera, jet or tanker.
- Give it the sentence verbatim: it cannot name a cause from a smell. A smell is a note, not a diagnosis.
- Let it book scheduled pumps and camera looks. Keep sewage at the bowl, and a yard that is flooding, as a callback or a transfer.
- On Sunday lunch, and the morning after a wedding in the village, shorten the ring-time so the third caller is not listening to a busy tone.
- Mark two kinds of visit: a tanker morning that needs the truck, and a rod or camera look that does not.
What an AI phone receptionist does on a drain van
You are on a rod in a ground-floor toilet in a Greek block. Water is at the bowl. Both hands are wet. The phone in your pocket rings. Across the district the other person is at a lid with the tanker hose. There is no third pair of hands at the number on the door.
You put the assistant on the number already on the tanker and on the card in the glove box. It answers when you cannot. Then it does one of two things. It takes a backup note and puts it in front of a human who knows where the rod and the tanker are. Or it books a pump or a camera window that is actually free.
The first question is not “what time can you come?”. The first question is whether the toilet is backing up, the yard smells, or they want a septic pumped on a date. A smell is not a full pit. A full pit is not a camera in the stack. An assistant that opens with “we can jet this afternoon” will send the tanker to a sewer stack and leave the family with sewage at the bowl pouring something the neighbour recommended.
A caller who rang in English gets the confirmation in English. A caller who rang in Greek gets it in Greek. The assistant works in 70+ languages. The SMS follows the language of the call.
On the rod, and the phone still ringing
One of you is already in a bathroom with the cable. The other is at a house outside the sewer with the tanker open. The published number still rings.
It is a burst. Sunday lunch. The morning after a wedding in the village. August, when the holiday houses open the unused bathrooms. A second line with the same two hands still leaves the third caller on a busy tone.
The family whose toilet is at the bowl will not wait on voicemail. They have your number and two other tankers in the same search. They hang up and dial the next one. The person whose yard has smelled since Thursday, asking whether that means the pit is full, will not leave a message either.
People whose grease trap you already pump will often wait. A person who cannot report sewage at the bowl, and a person who cannot start a camera look before they open a floor, will not. If those two wait behind the rod you are already on, the backup is gone, and the camera arrives as an angry visit at five — or the next van has already lifted that lid.
Whoever takes the backup often takes the pump contract. That is why a missed Sunday call is not only a missed note.
Backup, smell, or a scheduled pump — then camera or tanker
Toilet backing up. Water at the bowl, or coming up in the shower, or only upstairs. The assistant asks where, whether it is a house or a block, septic or sewer if they know, then the address. It does not tell them to plunge harder. It does not tell them to pour anything. Sewage at the bowl is a flagged note or a transfer to a phone you hold.
Smell in the yard. They can smell it by the pit, by the neighbour’s wall, after rain, for a week. The assistant takes where and how long. It does not say it is the septic. It does not say it is the stack. It does not say it is the neighbour. A smell is a request for a look. The cause is yours, at the lid or on the camera.
Scheduled pump. The pit is due, the restaurant grease trap is due, the manager wants the tanker before the season. The assistant asks septic or grease trap, the address, and looks at the book. It does not decide that a smell means the pump is late. It does not put a tanker on a sewer address.
Camera. They want to see the stack before they open a floor, or they have had the same slow bathroom three times. A camera look is not a pump. Mark it as its own visit, or you will send the truck to a hallway that only needed a reel.
People remember the smell. They do not remember whether they are on a pit or the municipal sewer. Ask. One answer is enough to send the right machine. None is still a note, not a guess from a photo of the grass.
A sentence the assistant is not allowed to say
“Is it the septic?” is the question on this phone. It comes after a week of smell in the yard. It comes from a neighbour dispute. It comes from a manager who does not want to pay for a camera.
The assistant does not answer it. Not with yes. Not with “it usually is, in August”. Not with “that smell is roots”. A cause named from an odour, said on the recorded line, is a cause the van now owns, and the assistant cannot see the scum, the inlet, or the neighbour’s kitchen.
The line you give it is short: the technician looks at the pit or puts a camera in the pipe. A smell is not a diagnosis.
“Is it our fault or theirs?”, “shall I pour caustic?”, and “my cousin said to rod it from the roof” are still a cause or a method the assistant must not give. It names the topic so the callback is useful, and refuses the guess.
Do not put a cause table in the notes. It will read the table out.
Sunday, weddings, and everyone at once
Sunday lunch is toilets. By one, two families have started ringing. You are already on a rod. The pad is already a list of addresses.
A wedding Saturday is wipes and a stack that cannot take forty people. By Sunday morning the same block rings three times.
August is holiday houses. Bathrooms that sat shut since October come back with a smell and a slow bowl.
The assistant has to treat that burst as several conversations, not as a queue behind your cable. A backup in that hour is a note and a phone. A scheduled pump is a window or a callback. If the assistant parks the restaurant that wants the grease trap behind the tenth bowl, that kitchen rings the next tanker — and next month they are not on your list.
Shorten the ring-time before forwarding on those hours. After a wedding the third caller should not hear a busy tone. A Tuesday in February is people asking for a camera before a renovation, and one person left with the reel.
A price nobody can give from a photo of the bowl
When someone photographs the water at the rim and asks what a jet costs — they think it is wipes, the neighbour paid this much last year — the tempting answer is a number. The assistant does not give one.
House or block, septic or sewer, grease or wipes, whether the yard is wet, whether they want a camera first — all of those change the work. A number quoted before anyone has lifted a lid is a number you then spend the visit taking back.
It can repeat a published call-out you typed in and marked as speakable. Unseen camera runs, a tanker on a long drive, a restaurant trap — those do not get a number on this call. The assistant takes the request and books the look. Last year’s neighbour is not this stack. The assistant does not quote it.
If they press — “just a round figure, I have the other tanker on the other line” — the assistant still refuses. Book them as soon as a window is free. Flag it if there is sewage at the bowl.
Standing in a bathroom with the bowl full
Some of these callers are in a flat with children, or a taverna mid-service, or a yard after rain with the lid lifting. They want to know whether to keep flushing, whether to pour something, whether the neighbour has to pay.
The assistant is not in the bathroom. It cannot see the water line. It cannot decide whose pit it is.
What it can take: backup or smell or pump, septic or sewer if they know, house or block, address, floor. What it can repeat, if you typed the line in: someone from the van will call back as soon as they can see where the rod and the tanker are. Come-now or this afternoon is yours, after you know the next lid.
If sewage is coming up, or the yard is flooding, that is a transfer. You give the assistant that short list. It collects a name and a number while it is connecting. It does not tell them which chemical to buy. It does not tell them to open the lid.
A caller who is booking the autumn pump, with nothing at the bowl, is a tanker window if that window is free.
Blocks, grease traps, and “can you jet it in twenty minutes?”
Building stack. The manager rings, or a tenant does, or both. The assistant takes who they are, which building, and whether the basement manhole can be opened. It does not tell a tenant to lift a communal lid. It does not promise the whole stack by lunch.
Restaurant grease trap. Due, overflowing, the health visit is Friday. The assistant takes the shop and the window. It does not treat a trap as a house pit. Mark it as its own type.
Camera before they open the floor. A renovation wants to see the fall. That is a reel morning, not a tanker. The assistant does not put the truck on that address unless you said so.
Come in twenty minutes. The assistant does not say that. On a bowl full of sewage it puts the call in front of a human who can see the van. That person says when they can come, or that they cannot leave the rod they are on. On booked work it offers a window the calendar can honour, and nothing tighter to sound helpful.
August needs its own dates. Some of you close for two weeks. The published number still rings. Set the closure. Do not let the assistant book a pump into a week when the tanker is on a beach.
How CITT handles it
- Your number stays on the tanker and on the van door. A forwarding rule sends what you do not answer. Calls you pick up never leave, and are never charged.
- Every line is answered at once. A Sunday lunch is several conversations, not a stack of busy tones.
- It knows the van you described. Rod, camera, tanker, grease traps, whether you do blocks, who is out on Monday.
- It asks backup, smell or scheduled pump first, then septic or sewer, then the address, and only then looks at the book.
- It takes a smell as a note, never as a named cause.
- It checks the real book before it offers a window, and writes the visit into the same calendar the van already uses.
- It confirms by SMS, in the language of the call — 70+ languages — and can remind them who must be there with the lid key.
- It escalates sewage at the bowl, a flooding yard, a chemical question, and “is it the septic?” as a tagged note or a transfer.
- You get the transcript, the summary, the address, and whether they named a pit or the sewer.
What it will not do
It will not name a cause from a smell. It will not say the pit is full because the yard is sour. It will not give a chemical recipe. It will not quote a jet from a photo of the bowl. It will not send the tanker to a sewer stack, or a camera reel to a pump that only needed the truck. It will not treat a backup, a smell and a scheduled pump as the same visit. It will not tell a tenant to open a communal manhole.
What these calls sound like
The order is the split, then septic or sewer, then the address, then a window the book can honour or a ring to you, then the refusal said out loud. There is no cause over a smell nobody has stood in. There is no round figure over a bowl in a WhatsApp photo. There is no “twenty minutes” to a second-floor toilet while you are still on a rod in someone else’s bathroom.
If the assistant is friendly and still names the septic from the odour, you own that cause. Put the person who rang about the yard at 13:10 on a smell note, not on the next tanker’s pad.
What you set up first
Put the assistant on the number on the tanker with a forward-on-no-answer rule, so a free pair of hands still takes the call. Then the three-way split, the sentence that forbids a cause from a smell, and the list that rings a phone.
Write down what you actually run: rod, camera, tanker, grease traps, blocks. Give it the fields you want on every note: backup or smell or pump, septic or sewer, house or block, address, floor, whether anything is at the bowl. Mark two kinds of visit: a tanker morning that needs the truck, and a rod or camera look that does not.
Give it the same-day phone list: sewage at the bowl, yard flooding, lid lifting. Do not give it a cause table or a chemical list it would read out. Write one line that forbids diagnosis from a smell, recipes, and “it is the neighbour”. Add the hours you actually drive, who is out on Monday, August dates, how a manager hands over a basement key.
Rates live on the pricing section of the home page. They are not repeated here.
AI receptionist, in-house staff, or a call centre
| CITT | In-house | Call centre | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Answers while both hands are on a rod | Always | Only if they can let go of the cable | Yes |
| Several callers on a Sunday lunch | Every line at once | One, then a busy tone | Depends who was rostered |
| Asks backup, smell or scheduled pump first | Yes — before it looks at the book | Yes, if they heard the start | Often jumps to what window |
| Names a cause from a smell | Never — takes the note | Not on the phone either | Must not; sometimes guesses roots |
| Mixes a camera look with a tanker pump | Never — two visit types | Can refuse until they see the pit | Often books “a drain visit” |
| Speaks the caller's language | 70+ languages | One or two | Whoever is on that shift |
| What it will not do | Diagnose from a smell, a chemical recipe, a price from a photo of the bowl | Can put a camera in the pipe | Reads whatever is on the sheet |
What one unanswered Sunday lunch costs a two-person drain van
Worked from these assumptions — change any of them and the answer changes:
- Two people, a Sunday after a Saturday wedding in the village. Roughly 11 inbound calls before mid-afternoon.
- About a third arrive while one of you is on a rod and the other is at a septic with the tanker.
- Of the calls nobody reaches, 3 are toilets backing up, 1 is a septic that wants a pump.
- A same-day backup that becomes work is worth about €110 here — put your own call-out plus first hour in, this is the number to change first.
- A booked septic pump is about €160 of tanker time on these assumptions. Replace that with what you actually charge for a pump-out.
- This example treats 2 of the 3 backup callers and the pump caller as people who never left a message and rang the next tanker.
- 4 drain calls reach nobody on a normal Sunday lunch.
- 3 of them do not call back.
- 2 × €110 + 1 × €160 = €380 of work that lunch that never reached you.
- Sundays like that, say 20 of them across the year — 20 × €380.
About €7,600 a year on those tickets. Put your own pump-out in. A quiet Tuesday in February is not the same.
What it costs
CITT is pay as you go: no packages, no minimum, no contract. The current rates — the monthly fee per number and the per-minute rate — are on the pricing section of the home page, which is the only place they are published.
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to change the number on the tanker?
No. The number on the tanker, the card in the van and the Google listing stays yours. You add one forwarding rule — every call, or only the ones still ringing after the seconds you choose. If you pick up, the call never leaves and is never charged.
Can it tell them the smell is the septic, or roots, or the neighbour?
It must not. A smell in the yard is a note — address, on septic or on the sewer, how long, whether anything is backing up indoors — and then a look or a flagged callback. Naming a cause from an odour, on the recorded line, is a diagnosis the van now owns, and the assistant cannot see the pit, the stack, or the neighbour's grease trap. The camera, or you at the lid, names the cause.
Can it quote a jet or a pump from a photo of the toilet?
No. A photo of a bowl is not a survey. House or block, septic or sewer, kitchen grease or wipes, whether the yard is wet — those change the work. It takes the address and what they can see. You price what you have opened. If a published call-out is speakable, you type that in. Unseen camera runs and tanker pumps do not get a number on this call.
What if I am already on a rod in someone else's bathroom?
That is the usual Sunday. The assistant answers the overflow. A toilet at the bowl, or a yard that is flooding, becomes a note and a ring to a phone you hold. A scheduled pump or a camera look becomes a window that is actually free, or a callback. After a wedding Saturday, shorten the ring-time so the third caller is not listening to a busy tone.
Someone wants to know which chemical to pour. What does it do?
It refuses. You give the assistant a short list it must not read out: no caustic, no acid, no “what the neighbour used”. It takes the address and whether anything is at the bowl. It does not invent a recipe. If sewage is coming up, that is a transfer, not a shopping list.
What do we actually see afterwards?
A transcript, a short summary, whether this was a backup, a smell or a scheduled pump, septic or sewer, the address, and whatever was booked or left for you. Confirmations go out by SMS in the language of the call.
